love

#MondayMotivation - Keep it.

I once let someone’s opinion convince me to follow suit on something even though it was not the right choice for my life.  I once (or twice or more) let my desire to keep the peace or desire to fit a certain ideal affect how I went forward.  This is not to say compromise is the devil, but I do not recommend abandoning your desires or plans (or giving up entire collections of things that you spent years putting together) just to mesh with someone you barely know.

Hold on to you and find what motivates you.  Find ways to compromise if you must combine your likes, desires, dreams, hopes, goals, etc. with someone else. There are plenty of amazing people out there and plenty of different ways to coexist - whether you are lovers, friends, or just roommates. Communicate your thoughts, dreams, desires, and things you’re not willing to budge so easily on. It is okay to stick to something you love or hold on to THINGS you love if they mean something to you.

I’m rebuilding my life and it’s not what I expected, but not in a terrible way. I miss things I’ve given up (and kick myself for doing so sometimes) and I miss old parts of me I thought were dormant. Don’t rule anything out, but don’t settle just because you’re afraid of not settling. Happy Monday and keep going! You’re not alone-alone, you may be alone but not like alooooone. <3

#MondayMotivation - Fear is an illusion

Experiences in our lives shape who we are, or who we become. Some of these experiences lead us to create a mask or facade. If you’re constantly questioning life due to some circumstances that made it feel normal, you may take that mindset into new experiences unknowingly. This could be jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. The fear that creates the facade is an illusion and doesn’t have to be permanent.

I fear rejection because I’ve been rejected. Does that mean I will stop trying? Does it mean I wont apply for that job or go on that date? Absolutely not.

I fear being thought of as being “too much” because I’ve been called “too much” before. Does that mean I need to apologize for being who I am or adding a disclaimer to my feelings? It shouldn’t, but I have. I’m learning that I’m not “too much” and my thoughts, feelings, and ideas are valid.

I’ve spent the past few months coming back to myself, losing the fear of being too much, not enough, or the fear of losing something that really wasn’t meant to be mine anyway. I had a conversation this weekend that helped spark this whole idea that the true me is still there, behind some fear. Allowing life to happen and working to make good things part of that new path is pushing through the fears.

I’m confident, outgoing, fun, friendly, dramatic, kind, and generous. I’m all of those things. It’s enough and never truly too much. Remembering me, adapting to life in current, and continuing to grow is pushing fear out of the way and thriving instead of surviving.

I hope you find ways to thrive this week. Doing the best you can is thriving, not just surviving.

Annual BFF Trip - Washington State

I recently flew to Seattle to meet my BFF Squad for a long weekend of adventure. Every year, we get together to take an adventure - a camping trip, a full on road trip, or destination adventure - to hang out and catch up. Seattle is one of my favorite places to go, mostly for the area around it, but also now for what the metro area has to offer. We explored, got the views, found the beers, and had a great time. Our Chrysler Pacifica minivan took us from the airport to a Mariners game and then onward to the Olympic Peninsula. Enjoy some photos from our trip. I already can’t wait to get back to my happy place in the northwest. This is my general take on the trip, with my views. My friends may have other opinions, which is okay.


Day 1: Seattle

  • I arrived a night earlier, because the flight was better so I settled in and got the rental minivan

    • Had a total Dad/Minivan vibe and I was okay with it

  • Our hotel for Night 1 was the Embassy Suites near T-Mobile Park

    • The hotel was perfectly located for easy food and access to the Mariners game

    • The prices were not bad, but parking is not included (pretty typical, really)

  • Tourist sites visited

    • Pike Place Market - the gum wall, various eats and drinks

    • Ghost Alley Espresso is pretty delicious for coffee

    • Discovery Park (lighthouse, beach views, and a view of Rainier)

    • Gas Works Park - very neat art and views of the city

    • Fremont Troll - classic little creeper under an overpass

    • Kerry Park - excellent views of the city and Rainier (cute neighborhood too)

  • Breweries Visited

    • Fremont Brewing - easily one of the group favorites for the trip with a wide variety and an amazing patio

    • Optimism Brewing - another instant favorite with a delicious variety and big, open space and the coolest gender neutral bathrooms I’ve ever seen

  • Had an excellent dinner at Two Doors Down (scrumptious burgers and great beers/ciders on draft) near the hotel/stadiums

  • Attended a Mariners game - was a bit sunny, but lovely

  • Ran in to my friend Fredi from Texas who was in town and spent a while catching up - such a nice surprise

  • The day was long - lots of driving, walking, drinking local beers, and sunshine so we hit the hay pretty early


Day 2: Our Venture to the Peninsula

  • We decided to find some lighthouses as part of our adventures which included beach visits to the kind of beaches that required sweatshirts (the best kind)

  • We hit up a few breweries and cider places as well

    • I shared my favorite cider place Finnriver Cidery & Farm with them and they loved it for the food and drink

    • Port Townsend Brewing for a brief sampler (excellent porter and stout)

    • Propolis Brewing was a different breed of beer and I was here for it - sours, fruity, spruce tips, SO GOOD (easily one of my new must-visists)

    • Discovery Bay Brewing - such a fun patio and tasty beers

  • We stayed in Port Angeles at the Olympic Lodge - fun story, Molly and I stayed there in 2009 with our friend Kevin on one of our road trips

  • We had dinner at the local pub Joshua’s (again, a revisit for Molly and I and pure nostalgia)

    • Definitely not as I remember it - less daylight next time

  • It was another long day of driving, beaches, beers, and sunshine


Day 3: Olympic Peninsula Exploration

  • We started the day with drive through coffee from a coffee hut - so good

    • This is an essential for coffee lovers when in the PNW

    • Iced coffee is better, always, fight me

  • Ventured around the peninsula through Forks

  • Stopped at the Tree of Life and soaked up the fog on the beach

  • Made our way to the Maple Glade Rain Forest to take in the greenery of the Quinault area

  • Had lunch at the Pacific Inn Pizza (another revisit after years)

    • I’ve not taken most of my besties here for mediocre food (at best)

  • Stopped out at Rialto Beach - nice and cold/windy!

  • Came back to town to have a beer at Barhop Brewing

    • Cheesy bread looks GOOD

  • Made the decision to go up to Hurricane Ridge

    • the views and sunset were phenomenal

    • Met some fun people who painted rocks and left them in public places

  • Dinner at McDonalds because everything was either over an hour wait or closed

    • My only gripe w/ Port Angeles

#MondayMotivation - Take a Leap

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Always use your best judgment when taking a leap - both physical or metaphorical - because you can’t change your mind halfway through without consequences. I’m not the most private person, but there are certain aspects of my life I do not openly throw around because of past experiences, assumptions, or whatever. I work hard to maintain a professional style wherever I work, but as you start to bond with coworkers “life stuff” just becomes part of the standard conversation. This weekend I let my guard down a little and let them all in on part of my life I don’t volunteer to just everyone. I work with some good people, close to my age, who live in a modern world so I felt it wouldn’t be a total disaster. So far, so good. Maybe I’m the one who made a big deal out of something as simple as who I love, but when you have had to live in true fear you’re always a little cautious.

I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, good grief I’m still learning. I’m just saying, if you feel safe enough or well enough, taking leaps can lead to some good things on occasion. If you can, take a leap and see where it takes you.

#MondayMotivation - Reflect & Regroup.

I think losing someone you love is a long, slow burn. There's the initial spark of immediate grief followed by the moments along the way when they come up and you remember again that they’re gone.  It's not bad, it's not good, it's just life. I feel eventually it’ll just be a low flicker or that tiny flame that will never go out. For now, with everything so fresh, it’s one of those big bonfires you have one when you drink a little too much.

It's been four years since my granny passed and only days since my grandfather and it's the same “woah” feeling every time I come across some random thing that makes me think of either of them.  A memory, a moment, something they would have loved, or something they helped me achieve. I’m not one to dwell on things, but I have been known to get caught up in a moment every now and then and completely lose it over something so small but so important to my memory.  Today I’m using the grief, the moments, the memories, and the flames of loved ones who have passed as motivation to continue to live a life I love and move forward with purpose. I remember the people who passed as strong, helpful, and wise in their own ways and if here, now,  would only continue to push me forward and motivate me to be a better human. Use your pain, past experiences, and downtrodden moments as fuel to keep moving. If you don’t have inspiration right now, take some of mine and run with it, I don’t mind.

Death has this cliche effect on me that causes me to reflect and regroup.  I think it’s natural, from what I’ve read, but I feel it's still cliche and a little absurd.  I wonder if I’m living life the way I should or taking care of myself enough, among other things.  I really do like the excuse to reflect and regroup, but I need to do it more consistently along the way - not just when I lose a loved one.  Here’s to more reflection, but not too much that I fall into a downward spiral of doubt - a happy balance.

Happy trails and I wish anyone reading this a wonderful week ahead.