It’s been a hard couple of weeks for me. This past week was probably the worst in years. Anxiety, depression, and anger filled my brain. I slept more during the day than I have through all the nights. I avoided anything I could and ate my weight in feelings. I don’t know why, all of the sudden, I was sad about everything. I started thinking about my Gramma, about my life, where I am, etc. I was getting sad to leave this place but sad I wasn’t already further east. It’s a wild ride of bullshit, I tell ya. “Everything in time” and “what’s right will happen” and all that happy horseshit floated around from people or the internet. It’s all fine and dandy, until you’re not wanting to get out of bed and those sayings are just bullshit.
Fast forward to this past weekend. I started to feel better. I managed to get out, go to the Farmer’s Market, meet up with new friends, and enjoy the day in many ways. My biggest turning point, and the one thing that took the most effort and convincing, was just to go for a simple walk in the woods. I hadn’t been doing much between working at my desk, eating, sleeping, or the occasional short walk with Chewy. My back was hurting, my body was sore, and every time I tried to work out or go for a longer walk/hike, I said fuck it and didn’t do the things I needed to do until Sunday.
Sunday’s walk in the woods was uplifting and awakened me on many levels. I smelled the forest, touched the plants, let the sun stream over me, and started to feel a physical and mental shift in my being. It’s wild to think about how much a little mile and a half loop through some trees affected me, but here we are. The walk in the woods invigorated me, and my day only went up from there.
I was inspired by my friend who also had to do something they didn’t want to do. We both did the thing, achieved our mini-goals and all was well.
Here’s to a good week ahead and staying on this upward swing.
