no regrets

Thursday Thoughts - the PNW, briefly

I’m working hard to shift my thought process from “what a waste of money” to “what an extraordinary experience” in regards to my short time in the Pacific Northwest. I moved up there almost exactly two years ago on a whim, only to leave a few short months ago. i can’t think about the cost - both financially and emotionally - because I’ll just break all the way down. Arriving to Olympia in 2022 was a dream come true. The townhouse was nice, the area was even nicer, and the scenery was legitimately the best. The place had plenty of space and storage and there was a trail through the trees nearby. It was heaven, as far as location and space was concerned. Life and relations were on the brink of extinction - in fact it wouldn’t be long until everything blew up.

I lived here… I was so excited to be this close to big trees, dirt roads, and all of the things I longed to be near for the past 14 years.

The relationship I was in was ending, which was good, but my gramma died and that was bad. My mental health took a dive into the dark, deep end. I spent a few weeks in Michigan as we divided up our life and then I made it back to finalize it. The townhome was all mine, I had a new car, and I was about to have a new life all on my own in the Pacific Northwest. What a dreamy place to get back to good.

On a break from cleaning out my gramma’s house, I stopped at the place we’d take the dog or just ourselves to walk or cross-country ski.

I had been in the PNW for about 3-4 months and hadn’t done much as far as exploring. I took off and started visiting my favorite spots, new spots, and everything in between. I hiked in the rain, cried in the rain, watched spring emerge, and welcomed a slew of visitors. Over the years of visiting the PNW, I developed a list of places I loved and would show each guest or set of guest these places. We’d add to it, find new coffee or beer, and of course shoot for something they really wanted to do or see. Having visitors helped me get outside and see all the things, for a whole range of seasons.

I started walking around the lake in Olympia

I started to learn that I loved living alone and that there was so much to do and see that I would be set forever up there. Eventually, as fate would have it, my job ended and I needed to find a new one quickly. The job that would hire me, and pay me similarly, would be down in Portland and would require a relocation. This was fine, except it was expensive to relocate and I would miss my tiny group of wonderful humans in Olympia. I did it, though, and was close to another tiny group of humans in my circle. I later learned that I could have stayed in Olympia and commuted to Tacoma if I needed to go in, which would have been good to know prior to spending a few grand to move. All in all, it doesn’t really matter too much on how things played out anyway.

I was excited to get to walk Chewy along the river in South Portland - right outside of our new apartment.

While in Portland I visited so many places in Oregon that I’ve always wanted to see and made it a mission to run to the coast as often as I could. Again, I had plenty of visitors and the months flew by. By May, I was feeling the groove and stepping out of my comfort zone socially. Of course, as things were getting good, I’d be shipped away to bumfuck nowhere for a month for work. I landed in Arkansas on an assignment for the month of June. It was good to make a few new friends and see my family, but it sure was awful leaving my dog and my Portland life behind for that long. I feel I fell out of the loops and lost any momentum I had for loving the place fully. While in Arkansas, I did meet some nice people and did get to enjoy my time there when I wasn’t at the plant working. Also while in Arkansas, I received a message encouraging me to apply to this job in Ohio. With nothing to lose and my brain scattered in seventy directions, I did a phone screening and then made my way back to Portland to carry on, not knowing what was next.

I would go on hikes with a gay hiking group on occasion - felt good to be part of a group!

I went through July trying to get my footing and find my way, with initial plans to move to Vancouver to save money and live a little outside of the hustle and bustle of downtown Portland. The city noise and chaos had me on edge most of every waking hour of my life. I had a couple of interviews through July/August for the Ohio job, but carried on with my life as if it didn’t exist. I wanted the job, but I didn’t want to seem too eager about it. I couldn’t reconcile giving up the PNW beauty for Ohio. I’d later learn, that Ohio can be beautiful and is very close to other beautiful places with mountains, forests, rivers, and more.

I was escaping to the river trail quite a few times (I even played hooky once)

It was mid-August when I was told I’d be getting an offer. They didn’t know when, but soon. This went on for a couple of weeks and I started to prepare for the idea of leaving my beloved PNW and moving back to my beloved Midwest. Despite having so many wonderful friends out west, much of my heart was back in Michigan and being within driving distance of friends and family was exciting for the first time in 12+ years. I was so sold on the idea now, that if the job offer didn’t’ work out I’d take my job at the time and switch home offices to one in Michigan and move in with friends for a while. No matter what happened, I was going back to the Midwest.

Moving was a chore, that’s for sure.

I’ve been in Ohio a few short months, but have already saved hundreds of things to explore on my maps. The beauty of this country is being able to find things to do and enjoy anywhere you go. YES, even when I was in Texas I found so many places to explore and things to enjoy. This job and this place kind of feel like my “last stop” until retirement. I am hopeful to maintain this job until I am able to retire because it feels like the place where that happens if that makes any sense at all.

Found some fall color and a lake to enjoy!

I write this because I’ve been struggling. I’ve been missing Washington and Oregon every single day. I’ve cried out to no one “why!?” and looked at flights for return visits. I miss the coasts, the woods, the big trees, the waterfalls, and of course my friends. I miss the more liberal feel of Portland, and even Olympia. I miss my proximity to my favorite National Park - Olympic. I will miss winter, rainy hikes through big trees and snowy visits to Cannon Beach. I have a few Alaska miles, and a job, so I’ll be back occasionally to take it all in again. I’m grateful to be here, in Ohio, near people who will help make the time here worthwhile. There will be many trips to the Great Lakes, Appalachian Mountains, and other wonders here in the east. Life can always be good, even if it’s not exactly what you wanted. Make the most of where you are, and if you need help reach out - I’m always a message away.

it’s official now!