Self-inflicted bullshit is the easiest to create and hardest to destroy.
I've been slacking. I've been kind of out of control with certain aspects in my life and it's taking a toll on me. Yesterday, I started to clean and organize the apartment and that brought some clarity to my brain. It's time to take control and stop living in a free fall. I need routines and structures and it will take a little while to build them up, but I'm working towards it as an overall goal.
Back to my hiking routines, cleaning routines, morning routines, and cooking routines. I've been avoiding cooking, leaving laundry all over, not cleaning up after the cooking I do, and generally being a slob-lazy-bum. It's easy for me to blame this on whatever, but really it's only I who can snap the hell out of it a get into a better head space. I'm working to find the positives, find the organization, and crawl back up to a normal existence.
It's been a weird few months with the death of my grandfather, the onset of hot weather, the general boredom of local trails, too much alcohol, too much fast food, and the general dislike I've been feeling towards my body. I'm certainly past due to get my shit together and get to hiking regularly, living within my means, smiling more often, eating food for fuel, and sleeping well again.