Thursday Thoughts

Feeling small under giant trees in the Hoh Rainforest - Olympic National Park

This week I was feeling small, but not in a bad way, and thinking about my existence in this world. I was feeling so small because I thought of myself, in my tiny apartment, in a single building, on a city block, on the city layout, and eventually zoomed out like I was looking down into my living room window from space. It is a feeling that washes over me on occasion, but more so lately since the world is so weird.

I usually get the “small” feeling when I’m standing beneath some trees - especially redwoods. When I’m on the shores of the Great Lakes or the Pacific Ocean, I also feel small and insignificant. I love the feeling - it grounds me. When people say water grounds them, this is what I assume they mean.

I think it’s important to find the “thing” that makes you feel this way. I like to use these moments to contemplate everything in life from my purpose to how everything interacts out there. My thoughts drift through all the beautiful places I’ve seen and the ones I have yet to see.

Big trees, big lakes, oceans, sand dunes… They keep putting me in place and bringing me back to reality while simultaneously fueling my hopes and dreams. What is something like this that keeps you going?

Me feeling small at Delicate Arch - Arches National Park - Moab, UT

Feeling small standing alongside Lake Superior - Duluth, MN

Tuesday Truth

I was falling victim to other people’s bullshit. I found myself getting cranky, anxious, and kind of sad because the people I was interacting with in that moment were all of those things. I had to fight my way out of those feelings and make a conscious effort to put myself in a better place. It is not their fault, and I love to be an ear and help friends get through moments or periods of time like this. I also know that I have my moments, and they will be inevitable.

I started thinking what kind of energy I’m putting out there. What was I conveying on socials? What was I conveying in texts and phone calls? How was I coming off? Not that I’m concerned what people think of me, per se, but I was concerned what I was putting out in the world. Was I being unnecessarily argumentative? Was I being negative for no good reason? Was it more than just complaining or having a moment? The answer was kind of a yes.

I want people to feel good and calm during and after interacting with me. I want to put good energy out there and brighten the days of people around me. I took this moment as a little rest stop in life to check myself. I will always be real, but I want to make sure I’m not just layering my shit on everyone else. It’s about a balance, and I want to be more conscious of that balance.

I hope you have a great week. If you need me, you know where to find me.

In a moment of pure joy, along the Oregon coast in the rain